Here are my personal reflections as a mum and therapist on parenting these days — in a world where we so desperately want to diagnose, find the guilty ones, and pressure the sensitive and vulnerable. Somewhere along the way, we forgot how to communicate and relate to each other — to see that we’re not alone in our struggles and worries.
You know those days when one moment you’re full of energy — and the next, you’re completely drained?
You don’t even realize how it happened again. You’ve gone too far, too fast, and now you’re left with no emotional or physical strength at all.
Does it sound familiar?
Modern parenting — and modern living in general — often feels like spinning endlessly in a hamster wheel.
You ask yourself:
Where do I even go with all these emotions? Why do I end up feeling so drained?
You blame yourself for not being organized enough, diligent enough, perfect enough.
No wonder.
We live under constant pressure and comparison.
Maybe it’s also because many of us, as millennials, were raised to chase goals, optimize, and constantly improve — even in love, in parenting, in self-care.
No wonder we’re exhausted.
We’ve forgotten how to simply say:
“I am not perfect. I can’t have it all. I need help. I need rest.”
Love Isn’t Perfect
You love your children — of course you do — but love isn’t about perfection.
It doesn’t mean self-sacrifice.
Think of what the flight attendant says about oxygen masks:
Put yours on first, so you can help others.
Love also means being flawed.
Do you remember Beyoncé’s lyrics?
I’m a train wreck in the morning,
I’m a bitch in the afternoon.
(…) I’m a puzzle, yes, indeed,
Ever-complex in every way.
That could be an anthem for mothers or parents in general.
Because I’m certain — your child loves you with all your flaws.
Wouldn’t you love your child even if they weren’t perfect — and who is, really? Of course, you would.
And that’s what secure attachment is — knowing you’re loved and held, even when you’re not at your best.
The Echoes of Our Own Childhood
Sometimes that deep fear of not being good enough echoes from long ago — voices or feelings from childhood, when love may have felt conditional.
Our caregivers shaped how we see ourselves and the world.
Nurture, or its absence, leaves deep marks — even on our nervous system — and that might mean that we become irritated or overwhelmed more easily and faster than we’d like.
And maybe you notice that your partner’s family is very different from your own family of origin — there’s more openness, warmth, closeness. Even if it’s a nurturing space for your child to thrive, it might bring up sadness, a quiet wound, or even shame for not having received this kind of love yourself.
Falling Apart and Starting Again
Sometimes it feels like you’re falling apart.
Then, slowly, you begin again — gathering the pieces.
But over time, some of those pieces no longer fit. They’ve changed — or you have.
Whichever way you choose to rebuild yourself, remember:
There’s no right or wrong way.
Finding Lightness Again
You are beautiful, no matter what they say,
Words can’t bring you down (…)
We’re the song inside the tune,
Full of beautiful mistakes.
(Christina Aguilera, “Beautiful”)
Maybe it’s a bit sentimental, maybe even cheesy — but these songs soothed many of us in those tender adolescent years.
And maybe they can still guide us through another phase of life — parenthood, complexity, rediscovery.
We carry so much, especially as parents.
Let’s make it lighter sometimes.
Let’s give ourselves permission to rest, to daydream.
Because we deserve that lightness.
Which song feels like coming home to you? What song has the power to gather your scattered pieces?
Between Love and Exhaustion – Reflection Sessions for Parents
I offer individual reflection sessions for parents who feel like they’re running on empty or just want to understand themselves better in the middle of all this chaos.
We look at where there’s balance — and where things feel off. We talk about patterns, beliefs, and what you’ve learned from your own story. There’s also some psychoeducation, and small exercises to try in between sessions.
You can book single sessions or a 3-session package (200€).
If you’re curious, feel free to contact me.
📞 Telefon & WhatsApp: 0160-91130624
📧 E-Mail: info@ppt-therapie.de
